You can’t expect people to change if you don’t run towards change yourself.

I was feeling crazy, there I was, my second year of college and I was so consumed by this dream I could hardly focus on anything else. Thoughts and ideas came pouring in, and set me nearly into a panic attack. I called home again in tears. “Dad, I need to come home, not everybody is made for school, and it’s a waste of my time. I need to get a job, so I can save up for the coffee shop, I’m not learning anything I’m going to be using, this is a waste of my time!” I decided to stay when they got fed up with my dramatic attempt to quit again and told me to go to a trade school. And I’m glad I did. I walked into the coffee shop in my mind a hundred times a day, I could taste it, I could smell it, it was painful to see it so clearly and yet not know how to get to it. What was my next step? I hit a wall, I begin hating all these thoughts that made me feel so crazy, I felt out of control. Something had to change…something had to change IN me. I began to pray… “Lord, I don’t want this…I don’t want this dream anymore, take it from me, I don’t know where you want me, I don’t know where to start, I feel crazy, I’m scared, I cant do it on my own, I cant do it on my…own.” I knew right then, I had been trying to do this on my own, yes he gave me the dreams, yes he flooded my thoughts with ideas and visions, yes I felt overwhelmed, but all to point me to him, all to bring me to his feet, all to show me that I needed him…I can not, will not… do this on my own.